babies
it dawned on me recently that in my current wired jaw state i might have more in common with an infant than with people my own age.
here’s a list of similarities:
- liquid diet
- always hungry
- easily irritable
- unable to articulate many things
- people are unashamed to comment about you.
thank goodness for the dissimilarities.
tags: jawbreak2010
things residents tell me
my surgery and resulting follow-up is taking place at a university hospital near my house. i’ve encountered more residents than actual doctors and they by and large have more time and are nicer but i feel as if i’ve been misled a little.
examples of our interactions:
- “oh, you’ll have those wires off in 1-2 weeks!” during my 2 week follow-up appointment the doctor and another resident almost laughed in my face
- “well, i can take off your rubber bands today. but you can only eat things like mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese.” the doctor came in a few minutes later and told me “NO macaroni and cheese! … too much chewing.”
- “have you ever thought about getting surgery for the upper part of your jaw? your overbite?” i had to remind him that i barely managed to get health insurance to cover my accident.
tags: jawbreak2010
actual exchange with the pharmacy tech (pt):
pt: “oh, let me give you a few more of these (syringes). they’re the smaller 1oz size so it might be easier to use.”
me: “uh…i’m actually buying this to help me eat with.”
tags: jawbreak2010 me
things i look forward to eating
…once i can eat solid food again:
- fried chicken
- macaroni and cheese
- a hamburger
- rice
- sushi
- cake
- things with texture and substance that doesn’t fit through a straw
corollary list of things i won’t want to eat for a long, long time: milkshakes, superfood drinks, smoothies, boost.
tags: jawbreak2010 food
milkshakes i have loved
the all-liquid diet means that i’m drinking milkshakes on the regular. here’s my list of what’s worth drinking - even if your jaw isn’t wired shut.
what i look for in a milkshake: drinkability (not too thick, not too thin), flavor (is it too sweet? if there’s stuff in it does it balance out?), and value (do i feel like i’m getting ripped off?). presentation and ease of ordering are additional pluses.
rating: considering the above out of 3 , 1 being meh and 3 being awesome, with half points thrown in. really, at the end of they day i have never encountered a milkshake i couldn’t drink.
in no particular order.
good stuff eatery
rating: 2.75
they use custard for their milkshakes here. in non-jaw-wired situations i opt for the kid’s size because the regular is just overwhelming. the consistency is always “right” though watch out for the occasional pocket of chocolate/butterscotch/etc. they obliged my “please leave out chunky stuff and blend it a little more” request to a t. missing the full 3 because IT ALWAYS TAKES FOREVER to order and/or receive your order. even during non-peak times (forget peak times) - this makes me so angry as there’s simply no way to circumvent a wait - anticipate a good 15 minutes BEFORE you get your eats/drinks.
ted’s bulletin
rating: 1.75-2
there’s an ample milkshake menu (and i won’t even mention the alcohol-added “adult milkshakes”) but the shakes i’ve had are either too sweet, too thin, or both. to-go milkshakes ring in around $6 but the resulting cup (about 16oz) leaves me wanting in the value department. plus, the service is hit-or-miss. sometimes it’s awesome and other times i’m ignored for so long i end up getting a slurpee instead.
potbelly
rating: 2.5
A $3 milkshake or malt, made quickly, and with those little cookies i’m dying to be able to eat? It’s fortunate there isn’t a potbelly nearer to where i live or work. only drawbacks are that the shakes can sometimes start out on the thicker, harder-to-drink side, and that i’d really love a larger size option.
more to come as i drink them (potential reviews include: the diner, jimmy t’s, pete’s diner, z burger, BGR) - feel free to recommend a milkshake for me to try (togflx at gmail).
tags: jawbreak2010 food dessert milkshakes
frequently asked questions
“did you have some dental work done?”
“why are you mumbling?”
“oh, you got braces!”
the only person to “get it” (aka correctly diagnose what was going on with my mouth + face) was a dentist. she said the face swelling gave it away. and then told me i should have scissors on me at all times in case i needed to be cut out. a point my own doctors neglected to tell me.
tags: jawbreak2010 me
i made this sign to help me (and our customers) get through work a little easier. i think it worked.
tags: jawbreak2010 me
